hello it's me again. idk what it is but I feel so betrayed. so lonely. so misunderstood. so confused. so ugly. basically so anxious. maybe I overreact a bit but I'm a person who thinks too much about what ppl think about me. and I know it's bad but I can't help it. and a funny fact is that I even started questioning my friends like do they even like me ? bc I get the feeling that they start to do less and less with me and they kinda do their own thing. it hurts to see something happen like that. I mean it's pretty much a slow process but I start noticing it. and creeps the shit out of me. I get that I'm not Normal and depressed but I can't do anything against it. like I'm not a happy girl or someone who is always cheerful. but that's me. I wish I could be different but hell u can't change yourself and u shouldn't. that's so sick. and another thing which is bothering me is that I'm like 16 and i never ever had a boyfriend or a person who thought it would be worth for fighting. I'm so disgusted of myself. what is wrong with me ? I hate it. everything about life. there are no good moments even though they seem to be good. I don't know how much longer I can handle this. ugh.
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