life update || what is going on at the moment

hello my alien babes. how is ur life going ? i know i did not write for such a long time now but well here i am. so basically today i feel so confused. like i dont know what the heck is going on in my freakinq body but something is changing guys. like i think it could be because of the weather change but literally i dont know. my skin was so good like in the end of august and also like in the beginning of september but then wooow. i mean i can understand that my skin breaked out a bit because of all the stress that i had because of exams  etc. but now this is something different. i mean i look like annabelle from that bitch as scary movie. Like i get dry patches on my cheeks and its like i can pull off my own skin.i know its gross but hell this is so painful. like i have exactly two huge dry patches on each cheek and i just look like i had put million layers of blush on my cheeks. And this is bothering me so much. the funny thing is that i do everything so that my skin gets better but hell nothing really helps. it is so frustrating and im so happy that the vacations started again because i would be so ashamed to go to school like that. ughhh i hate it. i dont know if anyone of u can relate to this but i hope im not the only one on this freakinq world. i try to feel confident but it is not as easy as one might think. i hate looking in the mirror because then i see this red faced monster. this is so annoying.  my life would be so much easier if my skin wouldnt be so f. shitty. yesterday i thought about how ppl see me. a couple of weeks ago a woman told me that she thinks i am pretty confident. and this was one of the biggest jokes that i have ever heard. it is like zero true. im so self-conscious and would love to live under a rock. my skin is one of my biggest issues and it is so rare that i find myself beautiful. it is kinda hard for me to express my feelings towards myself. i cannot really imagine what it is like to love your own body and to have no problems to accept it just the way it is. it is just a thought that is just so far away. i mean in the end we will all die alone so we are the only person that we really have so we should actually embrace ourselves but it is so hard to accept that fact because we are influenced by so many ppl. something that i noticed while hanging around with my friends was that the way how we present ourselves to the others has such a huge value to us. i mean thats also one of the reasons why i dont really have social media. like u constantly think about how u
present ur life and compare ur life to others and i think by doing so we dont even have time to lean back and relax. everything is only about creating  a good image. this is so sick and i couldnt be
happier with the decision that i made eight months ago. okay... this post is way to long now but i really wanted to talk to u guys again. i mean there are a couple of u who read this so i really appreciate this. thank u so much for being in my life and for reading my weird shit. that means a lot to me.