❥ ⓜⓐⓓ ❥ || lonely ....

hello guys. it's been a while since my last post. well a lot happened considering my skin etc. and I think I'm on my way to a happier me. well there are times like now when I start questioning myself again. like are you really happy? is your life really going on and do you really feel better in your own skin ? I'm confused. I feel like I need to be around ppl. because I feel so alone. like I can't stand the feeling. not anymore. there was a time when I felt like it was the most beautiful thing in the world to be alone but now loneliness is just the most terrifying thing that can happen to me. when I'm home, I'm home alone. and it's so bad for me bc when I'm alone I have time to think and thinking is so terrible for me. like yeah thinking is good don't get me wrong lol but too much thinking like over thinking is equal to self harm in my eyes. it is so fucking painful. and I start feeling worse. that is the reason why I'm afraid of being alone. I hate it and I wanna have a person who understands this and is there for me all the time. I don't even know if this behavior is normal. I mean it's kinda sick. but that's what I need. otherwise I will go mad. preach 🙏🏿 .